Should you ask for proof of diagnosis before offering neurodivergent staff support?

Why many adults don’t have a diagnosis

You’ve probably been here. A team member starts to struggle with focus, communication, or emotional regulation. Then, in a quiet conversation, they share that they believe they’re neurodivergent, perhaps ADHD, autism, or something else.

But they don’t have a formal diagnosis.

So what now? Can you ask for proof? Do they need a medical certificate before you adjust the way they work?

Let’s take a moment to unpack this - with empathy, context, and practicality.

Why many adults don’t have a diagnosis

First, it’s important to understand that many neurodivergent adults are undiagnosed. That doesn’t make their needs any less real. In fact, there are many valid, even necessary, reasons why someone might identify as neurodivergent without formal paperwork.

1. Diagnosis is expensive and time-consuming

In most countries, seeking a diagnosis for ADHD or autism as an adult is a long, exhausting, and costly journey. Waitlists are often months or even years, private assessments can cost thousands and the emotional toll is high. It’s not a casual process.

2. The process can be distressing

Many neurodivergent adults only come to understand their differences later in life, often after years of masking or struggling silently. The process of getting diagnosed often involves deeply personal reflection and dissection of past experiences, which can feel overwhelming, invalidating, or even traumatic.

3. Fear of Stigma and Discrimination

Despite growing awareness, neurodivergent diagnoses can still carry social and professional risks. In some sectors, disclosure could threaten employment or promotion prospects. In certain countries, it might even affect immigration eligibility or personal insurance. Understandably, some individuals choose to avoid the “label.”

4. Self-diagnosis can be valid

Many neuro-affirming professionals recognise that self-identification is often accurate, particularly when it’s based on lived experience, peer research and community engagement. A diagnosis is not what makes someone neurodivergent. It’s just one possible validation of their experience.

So, what’s your role as a manager or colleague?

Here’s the truth. Your job isn’t to verify a diagnosis. It’s to help create an environment where people can do their best work - safely, respectfully and sustainably.

If someone comes to you and says, “I think I’m neurodivergent, and I need to work differently to perform well,” your response doesn’t need to start with a demand for documentation.

It can start with -

• “What helps you stay focused?”

• “What situations make it harder for you to do your job?”

• “What adjustments would help you thrive?”

 Most of the time, they’re not asking for special treatment. They’re asking for an opportunity to stay productive. A standing desk, a change in how tasks are delegated, more written instructions, or the option to work from a quieter space can make a world of difference.

These are small, practical accommodations that often cost very little but return enormous benefits in morale, retention, and output.

Responding matters more than diagnosing

Let’s be clear - support needs aren’t dependent on paperwork.

When someone discloses, diagnosed or not, they’re placing trust in you. How you respond will shape the culture of your team.

Will they feel seen, safe, and supported? Or scrutinised, minimised, or dismissed?

Too often, misunderstandings arise not from the request itself but from the way it’s communicated or received. That’s where empathy and curiosity are essential. If something isn’t clear, it’s okay to say, “Help me understand what you need and why.”

 Support first. Labels later (if ever)

Whether someone’s neurodivergence is formally diagnosed or not, what matters most is their experience at work. Can they contribute meaningfully? Do they feel safe asking for what they need? Can you work together to build sustainable performance?

If the answer to those questions is yes, then you’re doing your job well.

If you’re unsure where to start or how to interpret what your team member is sharing, don’t hesitate to seek guidance. Sometimes, a third party can help translate needs into clear, collaborative solutions.

You don’t need to be an expert in neurodivergence. You just need to be open, human, and willing to learn.

So before reaching for a performance plan, pause.

Ask yourself - Do I understand what this person needs in order to thrive?

If not, that’s the best place to begin.

And if you’d like help understanding the behaviours you’re seeing and building a path to real, sustainable improvements in performance, get in touch. Let’s chat.