How Well-Meaning Managers Push Top Talent Out the Door

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When performance issues arise at work, what’s your strategy?

For many workplaces, it’s a meeting with the manager, then with HR, and the initiation of a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP).

PIPs are created with the best of intentions, to support employees in lifting their performance and staying on track. On paper, they make perfect sense, clear expectations, structured timelines, documented steps. But when it comes to neurodivergent staff, these well-meaning plans can often do more harm than good.

Here’s why.

 The real impact of PIPs on neurodivergent employees

When someone is underperforming, it’s easy to focus on what’s visible -

• Missed deadlines
• Poor communication
• Inconsistent output

But what we see on the surface is only the end result of a much deeper story.

For neurodivergent employees, these struggles often signal underlying needs that aren’t being met. Challenges with executive functioning, sensory sensitivity, processing speed, or written communication don’t go away when a formal plan is introduced. In fact, the extra scrutiny and pressure can make things worse.

This is because many neurodivergent employees experience and process the world differently. Not better, not worse, just different. Their nervous systems may be more finely tuned to sensory input. Their brains may process verbal instructions in a more literal or slower way. They may need more clarity or structure than others to perform consistently.

Instead of feeling supported, a PIP can unintentionally magnify the very struggles they’re already working hard to manage:

• Sensory overload from more meetings, more scrutiny, more pressure
• Increased stress, which further impairs working memory, focus and task-switching
• Shame or fear from feeling judged, misunderstood, or out of sync with expectations
• Emotional shutdown when expectations feel vague, overwhelming, or misaligned with how they naturally operate best.

What was intended as a path to improvement becomes another barrier. Confidence erodes, misunderstanding deepens and trust suffers. Crucially, performance doesn’t improve - it declines. And yet, with just a few well-placed adjustments, most neurodivergent employees absolutely have the capability to thrive in their roles.

Why PIPs often backfire

Many neurodivergent employees interpret information, communicate and process feedback in ways that differ from the majority experience.

They may take critical conversations more literally. They may be more deeply affected by tone, word choice, or perceived threat. They may need more time or clearer frameworks to process expectations.

Even when a performance plan is introduced with kindness, it can easily feel like a punishment, especially if they don’t fully understand what’s expected, why the plan is happening, or how to adapt in the ways being asked of them.

From the outside, it may look like they’re being difficult -

• Not responding to feedback
• Seeming defensive
• Avoiding meetings
• Getting emotional or shutting down

But underneath the surface, they are often experiencing something quite different -

• A loss of psychological safety
• Confusion about what is truly being asked of them
• A nervous system stuck in fight/flight/freeze
• A lack of trust that speaking up will be safe or helpful

In short, their experience of the workplace is fundamentally different. What may feel like a neutral process for a neurotypical employee may feel overwhelming and threatening for a neurodivergent one.

Without understanding this difference, managers may misinterpret behaviour as resistance or attitude, when in fact the employee is likely overwhelmed, anxious and unsure of how to move forward safely.

A different way forward

So what can you do instead?

Begin by approaching the situation with curiosity, compassion and openness.

Performance issues are rarely random. Most people, including neurodivergent employees, genuinely want to do good work. When challenges arise, they’re usually connected to unmet needs, communication mismatches, or environments that don’t align with how the employee best processes the world around them.

Here’s how you can create a more supportive and effective path forward -

• Understand the “why” behind the behaviour
Instead of just listing performance gaps, ask - What’s getting in the way? Is it distraction, sensory overload, unclear instructions, or difficulty prioritising?

• Be curious, not judgmental
Ask open questions. Assume positive intent. Create a safe space where the employee feels invited to share what’s hard and what might help. Listen fully.

• Adjust the environment
Could they benefit from noise-cancelling headphones? More written instructions? Fewer meetings? Longer deadlines for deep-focus work? These aren’t perks, they are necessary supports for many neurodivergent employees to perform at their best.

• Provide clarity, not criticism
Neurodivergent staff often do better with concrete, specific guidance rather than broad or abstract goals. “Be more proactive” is vague. “Send a daily email summarising your progress” is actionable and clear.

• Focus on practical supports
Often, a small adjustment can make a big difference: a visual task board, permission to opt out of back-to-back meetings, or a clearer routine.

• Involve someone who understands neurodivergence
The support of someone who understands both neurodivergence and workplace expectations can help bridge communication gaps and develop tailored strategies that empower both the employee and the manager.

This approach doesn’t excuse poor performance, it addresses it in a more human, more effective way. It helps unlock the potential that is already there.

When an employee feels understood and supported, they can bring their full capabilities to the table. That’s when real change happens.

It’s about trust, not pressure

If you’re genuinely committed to improving performance, start with trust, not surveillance.

A PIP can easily feel like a verdict. A supportive conversation can feel like an invitation to collaborate and problem-solve.

Neurodivergent needs may not always make sense through a neurotypical lens. But listening with empathy and trusting that your employee wants to succeed, is the first step toward meaningful improvement through small, thoughtful adjustments.

Final thought

Most employees, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, want to do good work.

When a team member is struggling, it doesn’t mean they are incapable. It means that something isn’t working yet.

So before reaching for a performance plan, pause.

Ask yourself - Do I understand what this person needs in order to thrive?

If not, that’s the best place to begin.

And if you’d like help understanding the behaviours you’re seeing and building a path to real, sustainable improvements in performance, get in touch. Let’s chat.